What do you do when a family member is diagnosed with a terminal condition and given only weeks to live?
This is why I’ve been absent from blogging on this site. My dad passed away May 8, 2009, a 2:55 pm in the Harbor Hospice Home in Beaumont, TX, after spending a greater portion of April in MDAnderson hospital in Houston, TX.
Yes, I’m having crying moments even though he lived a full 73 years of blessings. There is just something about losing a parent you have been such a part of your entire life. I stayed up with him, at times, day and night, giving my mother and siblings a chance to rest and grieve each in their own ways; since I’m the only child living 13 hours away with limited chances of spending such elongated periods with my family. Oh, the talks we had. How wonderful! I thank my husband and kids for allowing me this time away. It was truly good for me and my extended family.
Death from an illness is much different to death from an sudden accident. The Dying Process is quite involved, especially with today’s medical advances. Such decisions posed to families already in shock at the freshly revealed diagnosis. I have many things to share and many questions for us to discuss in the days and weeks ahead.
While I was gone, a former co-worker’s wife and 2 sons were murdered in their own home. Such a senseless act of violence robbing life from people I knew.
Upon returning home, my husband is called upon to help a family whose eighth month pregnant daughter was killed in an automobile accident leaving another infant child behind. Sill another funeral my husband will perform this week is from a man so ridden with pain he committed suicide right before a planned fishing trip. Both complete shockers….. unexpected…. hurtful….. but now necessary for the families to face this final reality.
Truly we are all in a dying process day by day when forced to grasp our own humanity in times like these. However, I found in myself with many questions to ponder that never occurred to me before I sat beside my Dad in the active stage of dying.
One pamplet source of information that I and my family found quite helpful during my Dad’s dying process can be found at www.crossingthecreek.com
This information was written by a Registered Nurse, Michael Holmes, who literally sat and interviewed dying patients willing to share what they were going through in their final days on earth. Such topics as pain management, respiratory, appetite, circulation, energy loss, fear, symbology and grief are discussed. I’m sure the information will arouse further questions I hope you will comment on here so all of us can ponder these things together. The thin book cost an individual ordering online $20 and is used by many hospice agencies throughout the US. It wouldn’t hurt to call your local hospice care center and ask for a free copy.
There is another book I recommend highly for such times as these that will certainly give you greater understanding about where our loved ones go and how life is for them there. This book is entitled “Heaven”, by Randy Alcorn. The hard copy is $13 and there’s a study guide and children’s editions available as well. You can order directly from Amazon.com below.
We spend so little time thinking about life after death until it’s way too late. While this book can certainly help us during the grieving process now, it can help us deal with our own humanity toward our own futures, as well as give insight to those friends and families who simply don’t know what to and what not to say to us during these seasons of life.
